| D: |
[08 Oct 2009|03:49pm] |
People I guess can't grasp the perfectness of nature.
So I'm sitting here, revering in the fact that it was one of the days that I managed to stay awake in my english class, and watching the Tyra show. There's an add for modern medicine being able to practically 'design' how tall your baby will be, what color eyes they have, etc.
People just can't leave shit alone. Your baby should be designed the way nature intended, not how the spurr of the moment was affecting the parents into thinking "I want mah babeh to be rly tall!! HUR HUR HUR."
We don't even know if this genetic messing will lead to problems later in life; something can always go wrong.
Theres my rant. Enjoy. What do you think?
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| :\ |
[20 Aug 2009|02:35pm] |
I'm so excited to start San Jose State.
I've never been excited to start ANYTHING. Ever. At least on the same plane as a milestone in life, kind of a thing. Starting Middle and High school were completely terrible. Anyways...I'm really excited.
I'm kind of lonely lately, though. I feel like I have nothing to do with my day except work. And watch tv. I think I just need to get busy again and I'll be okay. I went quite a few years without a boy to keep me company and was able to focus on my work and stuff... I just hope I can get back into that swing of things.
I really hate this keyboard.
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| LEEDLE LATE AT NIGHT. |
[13 Aug 2009|10:14pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 crazy |
] |
:D YEAS.
Title: Banana Peppers
Rated: M/NC-17
Summary: You spin my head right round, right round. /AkuRoku/
( Banana_Peppers )
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[06 Aug 2009|10:41am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 depressed |
] |
Cameron and I are no longer together.
Monday, he came home from work late and told me that he was so tired of treating me like crap, that he knew he wouldn't be able to change for me, and that I deserved someone better.
Once I started crying, I just couln't stop. He kicked himself out of my house and moved in with a friend. His room is so barren now, that it hurts to look at. The last few days have been the most painful of my entire life.
I just consider myself so lucky to have people like my mom, Jessica, Josh, Sarah, Nicole, Jeremy, Sadie, and Henry for helping me through this.
I have had random crying fits. They were really bad at work on tuesday, but the last few days have been a little better.
I just miss him so much. I want to know how he is, because I know he's probably holding it in, which isn't very good. I feel alone. Although I'm not, I just feel utterly alone.
...that is all.
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[03 Aug 2009|11:05am] |
These past few days, its been like he's avoiding me.
If he isn't at work, he's with Brand, out driving. If he comes home, he's still in his car out on the street. He sleeps in until an hour before he has to go to work, like he's trying to avoid any contact with me at all.
I don't have to pick him up anymore, so if he stays in his car when he gets home, which is fucking weird anyway, I won't know he's there. I was waiting for him to get home, so I called him almost a half hour after he got off, and he was just sitting out in his car.
So I go out there and get in. He's just listening to his music. He makes me try some disgusting chips. He starts arguing with me on how much he hates my cousin who lives with us, and how he wants to hit him.
I tell him that I think we should go inside, because sitting in the car is boring. He says I should just go. So then I try to explain that I want to spend time with him, but he's making difficult by sitting in the car when I want to go inside the house. So, in the middle of my sentence, he cuts in and just tells me to go.
I cried last night after slamming his fucking precious car door as hard as I could and tried to draw the sketch that I started that came out bad anyway. He says his car is quiet, so he can think.
He's avoiding me. Its like he really wants to just fucking break up with me, and throw all that we have done for eachother away.
He came back in the house and just went to his room.
I just want him to say he's sorry. I want to feel like he actually kind of still likes me, if he still wants to be with me, but I have no idea what goes on in that stupid stupid head of his.
I hate trivial persuit. It makes me feel stupid.
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[30 Jul 2009|09:06am] |
I don't know, exactly, what is going to happen.
( sigh. )
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| ICONZZZZZZZ |
[02 Jul 2009|01:20am] |
BECAUSE ITS 1:35am AND I MADE THESE SPECIAL, ALTHOUGH THEY ARE NOT VERY SPECIAL LOOKING.
ANYHOW.
( D: )
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[26 Jun 2009|08:52am] |
Michael Jackson died of cardiac arrest yesterday.
My heart is broken.
That is all.
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| Today |
[06 Jun 2009|02:05pm] |
|
I am 18 years old. :D
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[18 May 2009|08:29pm] |
Have you ever been so amazingly stressed out that it turns your not-so-bad mood sour in an instant? That it makes you cry just thinking about the constantly-growing pile of overwhelming shit to DO makes you want to just NOT fucking do anything?
This saturday was horrific. I don't even want to talk about it. I miss being...well, LESS stressed out.
GAWD so much to do. But I know for a fact that I have all the time in the world to do it, I just really need to get started.
God, why the hell did I write this?
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| : | |
[05 Jan 2009|08:46pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Some Birthday Massacre song. |
] |
I need a Beta who doesn't care what they are reading, but is super anal about punctuation and sentence structure and will utterly OBLITERATE sentence fragments and will tell me when I'm going off track on something.
This is like, almost a desperate situation.
This chapter I am doing for Life's Cheat Code is EXTREMELY late, and REALLY REALLY important to me...and its also probably the longest of the chapters. But not by much. Which was completely irrelevent.
...Anyone wanna take a swing?
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| yesterday was kinda sad. |
[23 Nov 2008|07:25am] |
My spacebar has stopped working along with my backspace button. andappearantly so hasthe shift. this makestypeinghere kindahard on this computer. >:(
My pet rat died last night. I cried harder than i thought i would. We came home after shopping and i put my hair up to go play with him and i looked in his cage and he wasn't moving.
He was pretty sick though. and losing weight. It was histime, i know. and these buttons are really fucking pissing me off.
So i guess theres my update.
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| Today |
[02 Sep 2008|09:22pm] |
|
Was my boyfriend and I's anniversary. One year. :D
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[21 Aug 2008|02:21pm] |
Just a couple nifty icons I whipped up.
KINGDOM HEARTS :D:D:D:D
FF:AD
And some random one.
~~I Like Your Booty, But I'm Not Gay~~
(( Booty-Gay ))
IF SNAGGED, CREDIT WOULD BE LOVELY :)
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| So, |
[20 Aug 2008|05:14pm] |
I got to my highschool to pick up my class schedule.
Turns out there were a few papers I didnt get and needed to have filled out to get the damn piece of paper with what I was doing this year.
I don't have my doctor's card, or my dentists card. Or any one elses number for that matter.
My mom doesn't like to answer her phone.
It takes me three and a half hours to get my mother on the phone, yell at her, get yelled at, hang up, she calls me back, hang up on her again, start bawling, answer the phone, get the papers faxed to her, get them faxed back, forge a signature only to have the original document with the right signature come in, get the papers and get called a fucking sophomore for the hissy fit I guess I had thrown and walk away with my classes.
( GodIhateschool. )
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| No one will read, buuuut |
[30 Jul 2008|02:58pm] |
I thought I would update, at least to myself, on my progress.
I took a few hours today to sort out Life's Cheat Code, where it is going, how it will end, what things will be confronted, shit like that.
This story, I think, has either permanently scarred me or changed my life completely. Things would be so different if I had never started it. I would PROBABLY be a little more social, but that's besides the point.
My nails might actually have been able to grow past the bed, I would be a lot more bored on the computer at home, I wouldn't be checking my email in hopes of a review every day, I wouldn't be constantly replaying scenes from the story in my head in school whilst unbearably bored, I wouldn't get severe writer's block, my grammar and spelling would suck more, my vocabulary would still be small, I would have hopped on the dating scene and would have had more than one lay by now, I would have probably never started writing chaptered stories, inspiration wouldn't flow to me as freely as it does today, and I probably wouldn't be writing this right now.
:D Sooooooo....I'm done.
Chapter 15 should be coming either before or on August 3rd.
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spiffylube's journal
apathetic
